I don’t know what I did, or which link I accidentally clicked on, but my Instagram algorithm has started showing me a lot of videos about the feminine divine.
You hit this nail right on the head! I won't go too deep into this, but I find the reduction of the 'feminine divine' (I've heard it said as 'divine feminine') to these soft, sugar, spice and everything nice to be sacrilegious of the true feminine. If you look at the goddesses worshiped in ancient societies (as well as some feminine archetypes like the huntress or the sage) many of them embody traits we see as masculine. Many of the goddesses have been depicted as dark, wrathful, wild, and unyielding, making much of the discussion surrounding the divine feminine in the mainstream social media space as nothing more but a continuation of the patriarchal (and often religious) reduction of feminine nature into something more manageable and easily exploited. In short, it's disgusting.
I was waiting for someone to say this . The watered down version of the divine feminine we’ve been seeing on the internet is so disappointing and is why I always advocate for critical thinking and deep research of topics before coming to social media. The divine feminine is naturally dark , because she flows, like water. Feminine energy is creation , its desire , its inner strength, its nothing to be shamed of at all. Equally with men, men need feminine energy just as we need masculine energy, my articles say this all the time. For insight onto what the healthy feminine really looks like , please check any of my articles particularly the one on Lilith .
Thank you for this, it articulates things I have felt for ages but struggled to put into words. I am a sex coach and the amount of 'divine feminine'-talk in this space is off the charts! As you express - maybe if men were eagerly stepping into the 'worship your goddess' role in a respectful and nourishing way, it could be something to explore... but generally they are not (with some rare exceptions).
I do think there is some value in considering what 'divine feminine' business coaches have to say - turning away from the structures of aggressive capitalism and competition in business, which burns us out (whatever our gender - although women get the brunt of it with typically more care-giving and housework and life admin put on their shoulders too). But it goes way too far with what ethical marketeer Kelly Diels calls the 'Female Lifestyle Empowerment Brand' - typically a White, slender, conventionally attractive woman with an instagram reel of aspirational shots implying great wealth, and promising if you follow her teachings about 'doing business in a feminine way' you'll get the same. But then using the same pressure selling tactics as other businesses.
As someone who's been in the sexual space for work for over 20 years, I actually think our energy is genderless. The more we can just be together as 'beings', the better.
I adored this insight and entirely agree. The aesthetic that these women sell is equally problematic and veers very close to trad wide territory. Theres a Venn diagram to be had here.
Thank you. Makes me think of yoga mags in the “natural foods” supermarket checkout line. What I want to see on the cover, instead of a willowy white woman doing an impossible pose, balanced on a crystal cairn on the beach at sunrise, is a woman with a fit-enough mombod, doing maybe even the same pose, in a cleared-out space in her small living room, breakfast dishes in the background.
What you’re describing is the commercialized, sterilized version of feminine divine, which is absolutely side-eye inducing and lacking in any depth or balance. It seems you’ve only been exposed to social media tropes, which tend to cheapen everything it peddles.
True relationship with the divine from a feminine lens is soooo much deeper, as it embodies the divine in Her masculine energy too, for there is no creation/nurturing without the ambition/desire to do so in the first place.
And there are men out there teaching men how to be “softer”. John Wineland is one.
I think what you've really articulated here is the commodification of the divine feminine. And commodification of anything with real complexity simultaneously devalues and monetises it, stripping away its soul and beating heart to make it a product, which of course then needs to be a Brand and a Lifestyle. *shudders*
Yes yes yes. God I can't stand these concepts of "feminine energy" as soft and caring and "masculine energy" as driven and ambitious. It's so sexist - are these people not seeing how sexist it is? Not only does it throw women right back in the submissive spot, as you say, but it also prevents any man who has soft and caring trains from tapping into them. Men can be gentle and nurturing. Women can be active and assertive. None of these traits are inherently gendered. It's old-fashioned sexist bs.
Influencers influence. I share this frustration. I go to historians, history. And that feminine in her divinity was as destructive and fierce as can be. Earth Mother didn't care about Your Life, but about Life. Women we're delicate back in deep time. Mary Daly. Marije Gimbutas. Raine Eisler's Partnership Systems are full of possiblity for a post-domination social order. Even DNA studies now corroborate that preBronze Age Europe and swathes of Mesopotamia were way more egalitarian, not organized around or by violence.
I follow one of those divine feminine teachers, and what's interesting is the focus on reading myth, on thinking, on how stories are clouded by patriarchy's retelling, and the parts about flow and releasing come right out of trauma therapy protocols. Women have a lot of trauma to process. All of our socialization into patriarchal femininity causes splitting and other internal kinds of freezing.
Like everthing else, the socials are 90% grift. So, yeah, you gotta stay frosty out here.
Our anger and mess is as much part of 'the divine feminine' as any softness.
Any lifestyle or pseudo-philosophy that uses religious vocabulary (divine, goddess, rituals, etc) raises huge red flags for me. It seems that people don’t want to believe in God because they don’t want to be tied to a certain morality, certain standards or deal with the concepts of the afterlife and retribution which exist in most religions so instead they want to turn themselves into Gods. By channeling the right « divine » energy you can achieve anything, become omnipotent, be in total control — it’s all power and no responsibility. It’s entirely delusional which is why it’s attractive: why face the fact that you’re only human and are inherently limited and oftentimes powerless when you can call yourself a goddess and take full control of your life? And as a goddess, you can do anything so if you’re not living to your full potential it’s not because you live in a society that is structurally unequal and inequitable, it’s because you’re not putting in the right energy. Oops, your bad. 🙄
Wow, thank you so much for writing this. You know, I don’t think I realized, until I read this how much I was subconsciously trying to quote make myself more feminine” But I’m not, I have a messy house unload I fart. I eat chips. I hate clothing with ruffles, and I feel as if I am being mocked when I wear such a thing. All my energy is going into being a solo parent by choice and creating a business that empowers women.
Such a good piece. I also get a bad taste in my mouth when this lens of feminine divine gets touted as a necessary spirituality/almost religion for “modern times.” Like it’s trying to sell it as a product. I think it’s a sister side of the trad-wife trends.
I grew up Mormon, and we were taught that there was a heavenly mother and also a Heavenly Father. But… they always capitalized Him and not her. You were supposed to pray to Him, not her. We talked about Him all the time, but she was “too sacred” to talk about. So basically 1950s gender roles in heaven.
Thank you so much for this essay I myself am working on something in this vein and have found the trend super unsettling coupled with an obsession with trad wives and choice feminism rearing its ugly head everywhere. Such a good read <3
You hit this nail right on the head! I won't go too deep into this, but I find the reduction of the 'feminine divine' (I've heard it said as 'divine feminine') to these soft, sugar, spice and everything nice to be sacrilegious of the true feminine. If you look at the goddesses worshiped in ancient societies (as well as some feminine archetypes like the huntress or the sage) many of them embody traits we see as masculine. Many of the goddesses have been depicted as dark, wrathful, wild, and unyielding, making much of the discussion surrounding the divine feminine in the mainstream social media space as nothing more but a continuation of the patriarchal (and often religious) reduction of feminine nature into something more manageable and easily exploited. In short, it's disgusting.
I’m with you. It wouldn’t surprise me if you told me a man came up with this modern concept of the divine feminine.
Indeed. I think concepts of “feminine” and “masculine” are a racket.
I was waiting for someone to say this . The watered down version of the divine feminine we’ve been seeing on the internet is so disappointing and is why I always advocate for critical thinking and deep research of topics before coming to social media. The divine feminine is naturally dark , because she flows, like water. Feminine energy is creation , its desire , its inner strength, its nothing to be shamed of at all. Equally with men, men need feminine energy just as we need masculine energy, my articles say this all the time. For insight onto what the healthy feminine really looks like , please check any of my articles particularly the one on Lilith .
Thank you for this, it articulates things I have felt for ages but struggled to put into words. I am a sex coach and the amount of 'divine feminine'-talk in this space is off the charts! As you express - maybe if men were eagerly stepping into the 'worship your goddess' role in a respectful and nourishing way, it could be something to explore... but generally they are not (with some rare exceptions).
I do think there is some value in considering what 'divine feminine' business coaches have to say - turning away from the structures of aggressive capitalism and competition in business, which burns us out (whatever our gender - although women get the brunt of it with typically more care-giving and housework and life admin put on their shoulders too). But it goes way too far with what ethical marketeer Kelly Diels calls the 'Female Lifestyle Empowerment Brand' - typically a White, slender, conventionally attractive woman with an instagram reel of aspirational shots implying great wealth, and promising if you follow her teachings about 'doing business in a feminine way' you'll get the same. But then using the same pressure selling tactics as other businesses.
As someone who's been in the sexual space for work for over 20 years, I actually think our energy is genderless. The more we can just be together as 'beings', the better.
I adored this insight and entirely agree. The aesthetic that these women sell is equally problematic and veers very close to trad wide territory. Theres a Venn diagram to be had here.
Thank you. Makes me think of yoga mags in the “natural foods” supermarket checkout line. What I want to see on the cover, instead of a willowy white woman doing an impossible pose, balanced on a crystal cairn on the beach at sunrise, is a woman with a fit-enough mombod, doing maybe even the same pose, in a cleared-out space in her small living room, breakfast dishes in the background.
Words of wisdom. I quote ‘we can just be together as ‘beings’, the better.’
Yes, there is no need for woman to show their masculinity.
This is a trap like atheist- they are against god but to put their point they need God!
Womans have to do whatever they feel comfortable, it is their right and it is right for them too.
What you’re describing is the commercialized, sterilized version of feminine divine, which is absolutely side-eye inducing and lacking in any depth or balance. It seems you’ve only been exposed to social media tropes, which tend to cheapen everything it peddles.
True relationship with the divine from a feminine lens is soooo much deeper, as it embodies the divine in Her masculine energy too, for there is no creation/nurturing without the ambition/desire to do so in the first place.
And there are men out there teaching men how to be “softer”. John Wineland is one.
Thank you, Vashti! My response to this was going to be just that in what you described. Thank you.🙏🏼
I think what you've really articulated here is the commodification of the divine feminine. And commodification of anything with real complexity simultaneously devalues and monetises it, stripping away its soul and beating heart to make it a product, which of course then needs to be a Brand and a Lifestyle. *shudders*
Yes. Just another iteration of women selling something, generally, an idea that harms them.
Why you are not able to accept?
In India woman having good education and at top level in corporate world has to obey her husband and son at home!
Yes yes yes. God I can't stand these concepts of "feminine energy" as soft and caring and "masculine energy" as driven and ambitious. It's so sexist - are these people not seeing how sexist it is? Not only does it throw women right back in the submissive spot, as you say, but it also prevents any man who has soft and caring trains from tapping into them. Men can be gentle and nurturing. Women can be active and assertive. None of these traits are inherently gendered. It's old-fashioned sexist bs.
My God I have so much to say about this especially as an Indian woman. I’ll come back later coz it’s gonna be long yo 😂
Haha. I CANNOT wait! Tell me everything over brunch xxx
Influencers influence. I share this frustration. I go to historians, history. And that feminine in her divinity was as destructive and fierce as can be. Earth Mother didn't care about Your Life, but about Life. Women we're delicate back in deep time. Mary Daly. Marije Gimbutas. Raine Eisler's Partnership Systems are full of possiblity for a post-domination social order. Even DNA studies now corroborate that preBronze Age Europe and swathes of Mesopotamia were way more egalitarian, not organized around or by violence.
I follow one of those divine feminine teachers, and what's interesting is the focus on reading myth, on thinking, on how stories are clouded by patriarchy's retelling, and the parts about flow and releasing come right out of trauma therapy protocols. Women have a lot of trauma to process. All of our socialization into patriarchal femininity causes splitting and other internal kinds of freezing.
Like everthing else, the socials are 90% grift. So, yeah, you gotta stay frosty out here.
Our anger and mess is as much part of 'the divine feminine' as any softness.
Any lifestyle or pseudo-philosophy that uses religious vocabulary (divine, goddess, rituals, etc) raises huge red flags for me. It seems that people don’t want to believe in God because they don’t want to be tied to a certain morality, certain standards or deal with the concepts of the afterlife and retribution which exist in most religions so instead they want to turn themselves into Gods. By channeling the right « divine » energy you can achieve anything, become omnipotent, be in total control — it’s all power and no responsibility. It’s entirely delusional which is why it’s attractive: why face the fact that you’re only human and are inherently limited and oftentimes powerless when you can call yourself a goddess and take full control of your life? And as a goddess, you can do anything so if you’re not living to your full potential it’s not because you live in a society that is structurally unequal and inequitable, it’s because you’re not putting in the right energy. Oops, your bad. 🙄
Long story short, I agree it’s a trap and a lie.
Wow, thank you so much for writing this. You know, I don’t think I realized, until I read this how much I was subconsciously trying to quote make myself more feminine” But I’m not, I have a messy house unload I fart. I eat chips. I hate clothing with ruffles, and I feel as if I am being mocked when I wear such a thing. All my energy is going into being a solo parent by choice and creating a business that empowers women.
Sounds like a great use of your time and energy. Wise woman.
Such a good piece. I also get a bad taste in my mouth when this lens of feminine divine gets touted as a necessary spirituality/almost religion for “modern times.” Like it’s trying to sell it as a product. I think it’s a sister side of the trad-wife trends.
Yeah I think it just might be. And I have so much to say about the trad wives. 🙄
Awaiting the next Substack about it 👀
Caller please hold….
How do I like this post a thousand times
Ha! You babe 💕
By sharing your experiences and views as a lengthy comment.
Why?
Each word for a like.
And here I always thought “feminine divine” was supposed to empower women. Good analysis on how it’s a trap to stay submissive and remain repressed.
👊🏽👊🏽
I grew up Mormon, and we were taught that there was a heavenly mother and also a Heavenly Father. But… they always capitalized Him and not her. You were supposed to pray to Him, not her. We talked about Him all the time, but she was “too sacred” to talk about. So basically 1950s gender roles in heaven.
Good to know they really do exist everywhere 🙃
I came across those ads too! I didn't think much of them, so hearing your take on it is enlightening! I read a book about the exact opposite, which might be interesting for some around here (I will leave the link if that's okay: https://www.amazon.com.au/Dead-Blondes-Bad-Mothers-Monstrosity-ebook/dp/B07L2GC3T7 )
Absolutely and thank you for the knowledge share. 💕
Thank you so much for this essay I myself am working on something in this vein and have found the trend super unsettling coupled with an obsession with trad wives and choice feminism rearing its ugly head everywhere. Such a good read <3
Thank you so much. Delighted to be exploring alongside you. x
I’m still allowed to resist feminine divine but enjoy a green goddess salad dressing am I?