My writing process

My dearest woman,

I am often asked about my writing process. In almost every interview I have ever given, whether it be performing poetry around the world, or to magazines and newspapers asking me about my novel, an eager-eyed journalist will look at me with hope and ask, ‘what is your writing process.’

I imagine they ask because becoming a successful writer who publishes books is a back-breaking and entirely awful thing to try and do, and you have to get your hope from somewhere. I imagine they’re hoping I will give some tip or trick that will help them pull the words out of them. Which, of course, I do have, but let me tell you really, what my writing process is.

My process is Grace, who works behind the bar at the shittiest pub in town, enduring the smiles and pinches of men, so that she can give all her tips to her boyfriend, or else she’ll feel the tip of his belt buckle.